How to Talk Like a Hostage Negotiator

Empathy is the key

Sat 13 May 2023

Topics

Recently, I listened to a fascinating interview with a former FBI hostage negotiator. He described what was essential in negotiating with someone who disagrees with you.

The key? Empathy.

Not saying you agree with the person, but showing them that you understand their point of view.

It got me thinking. Imagine if our disagreements about faith were handled like this?

That if I'm a Christian, I didn't rush to tell people who disagreed with me why I thought they were wrong,

but sought to understand them, while still not agreeing with them, and vice versa.

What kind of tense standoffs could be avoided in our conversations about religion if we took the approach of a hostage negotiator?

With

Andrew Laird

Andrew works for Third Space in Canberra and directs Life@Work – an initiative aimed at connecting Christian faith with daily work. In his years working as a journalist, then mentor and spiritual advisor to working professionals, Andrew Laird has seen first-hand the challenges many face in bringing their ‘whole selves’ to work. He’s the author of I am what I do: Reshaping our understanding of self and work and Under Pressure.