When should I lean into ambition and when should I lean out?
Let’s lean into the word ambition for a moment. The stereotypical image of an ambitious person is someone who is a little too eager to climb the corporate ladder, sacrificing anyone in their way. The Apple TV+ series Morning Wars has several such characters. Cory Ellison (played by Billy Crudup) says something like: "Power is a lot of things; pretty isn't one of them”.
However, the basic meaning of the word ambition is to have goals and to be prepared to work for them. Having some ambition is natural, normal and human. It gets us out of bed in the morning.
Working out when to lean into ambition and when to lean out isn’t easy. A friend of mine who works in the legal field commented:
“I want to do as much as possible with the time that I have and really make the most of every opportunity that comes my way. That can result in me juggling too many balls and I end up dropping some, which isn't ultimately helpful to me or other people, as it causes me stress and lets other people down. So, I feel like I need to make good choices if I’m going to lean into my ambition.
In my work, I could take on too many cases at once and justify that decision on the basis that I can help more people that way. But in reality, my deep-down motive, which I might have even hidden from myself, could be that I want to feel busy and in demand, because that's what feeds my ego, and then because I've taken on too much, I might not have enough time to prepare properly for each case, and thereby ultimately let those clients down, or let my family down by not having enough time available for them.”
My friend’s comment reveals something about ambition: there are sacrifices or trade-offs, because time, energy and opportunity are all limited.
Her comment also touches on another issue: sometimes our ambitions blind us to what those sacrifices are – or seduces us into thinking they are worth making (which we later regret).
So how can we get some clarity when it comes to leaning into or out of ambition?
I have found this question a helpful place to start: Who wins? Who loses? Who gets sacrificed?
To give you an example: I asked a very part time resource of a work colleague of mine to help me with a project I was working on. I thought - the volunteer is interested in the work, they have the time to help, they can always say “no”. I didn't ask or inform my colleague. The colleague did find out, though, and they raised it with me.
If I apply the question: Who ins? Who loses? Who gets sacrificed? - then I won. My colleague lost. I sacrificed their interests because now the volunteer resource has less time for them. (I don’t believe I sacrificed the resource as a pawn to my ambition because I really did think carefully before asking them and gave them a way out…but it would be worth me thinking about this further).
If I had my time again, would I do anything differently? I think I would still lean into the ambition but ask the work colleague first. If they said no, then I would do my best to accept that.
Why care about my work colleague’s interests? For me, as a follower of Jesus, this is the relationship guide I seek to live by:
Do nothing out of selfish ambition or vain conceit, rather in humility, value others above yourselves. Philippians 2:3
I’m prepared to do that because of Jesus’ utterly selfless ambition in dying on the cross for me.
I have to say it’s easier to give up my ambition for the sake of the others, knowing that Jesus has my back, and will look after me.
Discussion Questions
- What are some of your ambitions?
- With these ambitions: Who wins? Who loses? Who gets sacrificed?
- What will you do, now that you know that?
